Deserted Heart

slow growing solo like a saguaro in the desert’s heart

i don’t need much

God, water, sunlight

everything and everyone else, a deeply appreciated plus but not necessarily a must

…The spirit of God was hovering over the waters – i read that verse again and again – Genesis 1:2 – and sit by the sea every time i am blessed with the chance

in the beginning i thought i knew but i didn’t

know

anything

the hopeless romantic within me died on a fucked up day last November – 2 to the heart

Held her in my arms as she took her last breathe

It was inevitable though

Made an idol out of romance and watched it fall – shattered my heart in the process

Broken hearted and repentant

i wear black and dark shades mourning the loss of this part of me – parts of me –

God talks me through and walks me through this grief

Reminding me of who He is as i read his word

The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalms 34:18

i feel his closeness no matter how the day finds me or where it takes me

i wait on my new heart -another one of his promises -with endless blooming belief

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a new heart of flesh –Ezekiel 36:26

slow growing solo like a saguaro in the desert’s heart

i don’t need much

God, water, sunlight,

and a new heart

Author’s Note: God bless the shooter.

black and dark shades

Made a playlist of the songs i listened to as i wrote this : https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/deserted-heart/pl.u-MDAW2aGsqP3727

Photo via Unsplash by Abhi M

Black Rage

Been mad as three hells lately

The link below has helped.

https://girltrek.us18.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=6aa11fa786466642f2188db2e&id=fd9095c5dc

Thank you beautiful Black Women for showing up with the healing yet again

I’ll be back soon got some letting go to do

Be safe out here and remember you are loved

https://apple.news/At9wtbBgRTJuVqVIVkWSFvA

Aglow with Knowing

Listen, Read and let your soulllllll glow…
https://music.apple.com/us/album/im-dope-feat-david-michael-wyatt/1418975104?i=1418975106

Lilith’s Lit Daughter, Pencil drawing by Me

Whom the phuck shall you fear- aren’t you the light?

I remind myself of who’s I am as I step into the night aglow

I get to know my darkness so it won’t consume me

I get to know my darkness so it can’t entomb me

There is power and strength in knowing and loving all sides of yourselves

Sharing the light of God with my demons we are reminded of our true essence

Now we work together in the dark of night for the light

Whom the phuck shall you fear- aren’t you the light?

Via: www.merriam-webster.com

your·selves | \ yər-ˈselvz  , Southern also -ˈsevz \

Definition of yourselves

1: those identical ones that are you used reflexively

Get yourselves a treat, for emphasis, or in absolute constructions

2: your normal, healthy, or sane condition or selves 

you will feel more like yourselves after a good rest

https://pin.it/myikj67p5tznoj

death of a queen/ seat of consciousness

dear warrior queen,

meet us at the edge of darkness and the rim of light.

divided for too long we have been.

love,

i am + sister nature

I woke up to this letter pinned to the breastplate of my rose gold armor.

My heart always opens for them – I mean they are who I have been fighting for all these years… Right?

Dawning on me like the morning sun I realize that I am enslaved to this ”fight”

And if I am not free… then neither are they

So to free me is to free she because we are a we

Hmmm…

I denounce the crown and throw my selenite sword into the lake of fire

Back to the hell, it came from

I am willing to do anything to free us

War-torn

Forlorn and sensitive

This is no way to live or die

I walk back through the forest of forever

Dropping my armor as I go

Shaking this load off

I am headed to meet my selves at the rim of light, the edge of darkness

I hear them singing as I approach

Ahhhh, we’ve been waiting for you my love she says as sister nature nods -We saved you a seat…

to be continued…

Lauren, Oro, and Ava

I people watch in the park.

I saw these fly young ladies.

I couldn’t help but want to be them a little.

Laughs.

Why?

In touch with nature,

Young,

beautiful,

brown,

full of potential…

Wait- What?

Laughs.

Reflections.

Connections.

I am what I attract?

I am what I see in the world?

I am but a reflection?

I am?

Who am I?

Am I fly too?

Am I the ugly I see?

Yea?

No?

Yea

Damn.

So.

All of it is beautiful.

All of us are beautiful.

Ugly Beautiful.

Beautiful Ugly.

Independent film.

I am?

Just am?

I don’t know.

Laughs.

I just am.

’Cause they are.

I am.

I am Oro.

I am Lauren.

I am Ava.

Nahh.

Yea.

I am me.

Laughs.

I people watch in the park.

Saw me in some fly young ladies.

We Am.

Selfish

Attempting to shelf me, only interested in my selfie

Selfish selfish 

Your surface level attraction not enough for my satisfaction

“You a selfish ass woman”

You damn right

Not built to make you a believer

I am no Mrs. Clever and this ain’t Leave it to Beaver

Mister – fix it your damn self

My energy is heaven sent and better spent on these babies

I’m teaching them to be selfish 

To say no

To never let a lame impede their flow

To know their truth and not let genetics or kinetics get in the way of their destiny

Infinite evolution in motion

Energetic billionaire with millions of minutes 

Are you just mad cause I won’t spend them on you?

“You a selfish ass woman”

Yup and you can catch these hands just like that fear

Self-defense 


Writer’s Note: Been boppin’ to Selfish by Little Simz all am. *laughs like Regine from Living Single  Hit the link and bop with me -selfishly. *sings Cleo Sol’s parts extra loud and dances like a pageant mom “My best friend is I… I’m so selfish.”