bs narratives

do not

walk in agreement

with the bullshit people say about

you

Get to know God and who he created you to be

He’ll send you who you need to point you in the right direction

Real connections

He may even sit you down for some good ole self reflection

So save your energy and let the fools chat – they are distracted

learn from this behavior and stay focused

you have things to do boo

Author’s Note: hens cluck and cocks crow I still don’t give a f*ck though- run ya mouth *laughs and gets back to it

Deserted Heart

slow growing solo like a saguaro in the desert’s heart

i don’t need much

God, water, sunlight

everything and everyone else, a deeply appreciated plus but not necessarily a must

…The spirit of God was hovering over the waters – i read that verse again and again – Genesis 1:2 – and sit by the sea every time i am blessed with the chance

in the beginning i thought i knew but i didn’t

know

anything

the hopeless romantic within me died on a fucked up day last November – 2 to the heart

Held her in my arms as she took her last breathe

It was inevitable though

Made an idol out of romance and watched it fall – shattered my heart in the process

Broken hearted and repentant

i wear black and dark shades mourning the loss of this part of me – parts of me –

God talks me through and walks me through this grief

Reminding me of who He is as i read his word

The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalms 34:18

i feel his closeness no matter how the day finds me or where it takes me

i wait on my new heart -another one of his promises -with endless blooming belief

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a new heart of flesh –Ezekiel 36:26

slow growing solo like a saguaro in the desert’s heart

i don’t need much

God, water, sunlight,

and a new heart

Author’s Note: God bless the shooter.

black and dark shades

Made a playlist of the songs i listened to as i wrote this : https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/deserted-heart/pl.u-MDAW2aGsqP3727

Photo via Unsplash by Abhi M

Clarity’s river

Clarity came with consequences

Can’t unsee the seen

Can’t “unknow” the known

pawn made a queen

Or

queen made a pawn

?

Waking up from the dream

Tears cried turned to rivers

Baptized in truth

The minute hand and hour hand carry her forward

Boxes now packed

Suitcases sit stacked

There is no coming back

Closed red doors

Burnt umber bridges

Beautiful, a bit broken, and headed to healing

Clarity came with consequences

Photo via Unsplash-by Eric Johnson

https://unsplash.com/@citydrown/portfolio

Take a listen: https://www.instagram.com/p/CN-mEnnnOB2/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

yellow flowers

majority opinion

does not equal

truth

yellow flowers rain down on solemn shoulders

heads bow in prayers of thanks continually – even for enemies

happiness blooms deep inside watered by tears of sorrow giving way to repentance

no regrets

no backwards movement

losses so big the losers could never be the same

Forgiving bomb dropping gas-lighters with grace – then giving them space

God’s job to deal and heal

Guiltlessly reappropriating time to environments that incite growth

yellow flowers fall on solemn shoulders

heads bow in prayer continually-even for enemies

majority opinion

does not equal

truth

Author’s Note: 2 Corinthians 7:10-11

less is more

… comfortable being a nobody because it really isn’t about me…

i am no queen – simply here to serve…

the more i learn the more i realize i must keep learning

grateful for the opportunity

no beating myself up for what i didn’t know and the mistakes i’ve made

just learning and growing

there is more

more to learn

more to let go (yes -you negative feelings- be out- thanks)

more to forgive (everyone and everything on repeat- and forgive me too- please (?))

more to be grateful for (moment to moment)

more to turn away from (help me Jesus – homies keep me accountable)

more patience to practice (deep breathes and slow walks)

more grace to pray for (thank you kindly)

more behaviors to let go

more behaviors to nurture

It’s a lot

But there is heavenly help and earthly support

For this i am grateful -thank you

Comfortable being nobody

maybe because i’m God’s somebody

here to serve

well hello 2021…

Me on the phone with God

The truth is unchanging

Real love endures

God’s love transforms

Karma ain’t real

I call myself/my self Young Grandma now and spent hours on the phone with God these days.

Having learned the hard way that chatting it up with humans that don’t grow you or don’t even really know you is just an epic waste of time.

But many of us have had to learn this lesson.

It annoys me that people try to figure each other out via the interwebs- Peering into screens as opposed to peering into the souls of our peers, colleagues, and loved ones in real life.

I don’t freely or intimately speak with many anymore but I listen freely, offering advice only when I am asked or when I can bill one for it.

It is what it is- tired of being kind then called fake – or being stern/honest then called aggressive by people who don’t know me or themselves for that matter.

I have always appreciated quality over quantity and am absolutely blown away and grateful for the genuine God filled people that share their truths with me and allow me to share mine.

Thank you.

Thank God.

I am very much an imperfect sinner. I smiled as I wrote that.

But my brother Jesus gave me his g-pass so I’m saved. There is no sibling this loving, merciful, and forgiving.

Get to know Him.

By g-pass I mean gospel pass.

Laughs – only one I will ever need.

What is the gospel? – I was asked this question every Friday for four weeks and though I can answer the question I am not yet ready to write a succinct answer.

So I have included a link to a book that can answer that question at the end of this post.

I think of myself as a warrior – it’s more empowering then being a victim more sane then being Catwoman.

I mean I was raised by literal warriors – military soliders.

a man and a woman – a husband and a wife – a mother and a father

My parents…

It is safe to say that I have a good deal of fight in me.

God is teaching me to fight the right fights though- to come to Him first and quite often I leave the battles at His feet & He does the rest… then I can rest.

True peace that only God can give.

Rest.

My older lady best friend and my mom (former soldier) often remind me to put on the armor of God.

This I do daily.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. Ephesians 6:11

I do be. Laughs

If you can’t handle my grammar or punctuation please (kindly) get off my site.

Remember this is my sliver of the interwebs.

Transformation is the quest for this caterpillar in Christ… accepting the way God made me, repenting daily, rejecting the way the world attempts to play me – thanking the people that pay me.

Laughs.

Future me said the caterpillar 🐛

*looks around blog

I’m not sure what this blog is but it’s fun to write without dead lines.

I appreciate you dear readers from around the world- I see you.

I will leave you with one last scripture and links to things I dig on the inter-webs.

Peace – until next time dear reader – you are loved.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalms 143:8

Timeless truth: https://www.amazon.com/What-Gospel-9Marks-Greg-Gilbert/dp/1433515008#immersive-view_1610102233405

Timeless style: https://rachelcomey.com/

Timeless reading: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/whats_driving_political_violence_in_america

Timeless Sound: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9OgU-W-ItG0

Almost doesn’t count

I almost filed down my fangs for you

I think this as I wipe the blood from my mouth and kiss your forehead

Feeling like Janie must have felt after she shot Teacake

Now your eyes are closed

And my eyes are watching God – praying I will be granted forgiveness for literally eating this man

I almost filed down my fangs for you

But when has almost ever counted?

https://music.apple.com/us/album/tipsy/1512283811?i=1512284183

https://music.apple.com/us/album/ungodly-hour/1512283811

Art by: Jefferson Terry

Black Rage

Been mad as three hells lately

The link below has helped.

https://girltrek.us18.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=6aa11fa786466642f2188db2e&id=fd9095c5dc

Thank you beautiful Black Women for showing up with the healing yet again

I’ll be back soon got some letting go to do

Be safe out here and remember you are loved

https://apple.news/At9wtbBgRTJuVqVIVkWSFvA