Diamond like Love

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Their love was made of diamonds so she could wait for him and he could wait for her…
I think that I have made love much harder than it needs to be. Listening to voices that weren’t my own. Not understanding what love really is. Even being too hard on myself and him too.
Its been a rough couple of months. Showtime show worthy. The memory that often brings me back to center is of him holding me and me feeling safe enough to sleep.
Maybe that’s love. Love holds on to you securely even when you have lost your mind and patiently waits for you to find your way back.
I have a love like that. I do. But I’ve got to make sure that I can evenly exchange. I must love myself in a strong secure unwavering way. I believe I do.
He tells me he’s not going anywhere. It seems that neither am I.
Their love was made of diamonds so she could wait for him and he could wait for her…
August I am waiting.

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Storm King Art Center

I visited Storm King Art Center yesterday. It was divine. The sculptures made me think a lot about proportion and perspective. I felt tiny standing in the open fields with the massive art and large and infinite within. Balance. Perspective. Proportion.  I felt the bigness of the ideas of those artists. Every vista was visually illuminating. We are all deserving of beautiful space to create.   As I waited for the bus at the end of the day I watched the leaves fall -performance art. *Laughs Below are a few pictures and the link to the Storm King Art Center. Sidenote: Aziz Ansari’s Master of None, season 2 episode nine 9 featured this museum. Check that out too-if you didn’t already binge watch it the day after it came out. I love that show.

http://stormking.org/

Art by: Ursula von Rydingsvard-Luba; Alyson Shotz- Mirror Fence; Zhang Huan- Three Legged Buddha; Tal Streeter; Endless Column; Heather Hart- Outlooks; Andy Goldsworthy- Storm King Wall; Menashe Kadishman; Suspended

Alien Inner-rupted

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Earth is a mother fucker sometimes. Earthlings are motherfuckers sometimes.  My grandmother tells me to worry about myself, to release those people and things I can not change. Sometimes it feels so hard to do – you know? She tells me that I am okay over and over. You are okay. Never in my life have I clung to two letters so hard …O.K.  You are okay.  Happiness and peace that’s what I seek. Spending time angry at two people who just will never understand me has made me crazy. *Laughs  It doesn’t make sense to hold onto those feelings – fuck ‘em and and hug ‘em says the beautiful rachet warrior that lives within me.  Truthfully, who I believe I am is what matters.

A month ago I didn’t even want to be alive. There were a lot of reasons. I deleted those sentences then retyped them ‘cause that’s the fucking truth and if it makes you uncomfortable so what bihhh. I write for me and this blog is an act of love for me and my great granddaughter; the one who isn’t quite understood by her parents because their  minds aren’t expanded and healthy enough to truly appreciate her beauty. Great granny knows baby and you are okay.

I’ve learned that to stay alive, for me anyway, I just need one reason – one reason to be alive. On my worst day the only thing that kept me here was the feeling of the sun on my skin. *Laughs  I am infinitely grateful for the sunshine. The sun kept me alive on my darkest day. Earth is a motherfucker sometimes but I love this motherfucker and I’m not leaving yet.

T. Moon

I wrote this listening to Sylvan Esso – Sylvan Esso. Play it Right and Coffee on repeat.

 

 

 

 

Dream Teacher

Once upon a time there was a beautiful teacher. Her classroom was filled with art and big floor to ceiling windows that allowed for the sun’s golden rays to pour in. Other teachers thought of her as a bit unorthodoxies. But that was OK. She knew what she was here to do and the thoughts of others would not distract her.

She had requested her children be allowed to have a longer nap time. She wanted each of her students to be able to wake up in their own way. Waking up was a beautiful unique experience and she felt it in her heart, right in the God space, that this was the lesson that they must learn for their lives. She wanted them to learn to respect and value their dreams and the dreams of others and appreciate the present from an awareness of the connection between their dreams and their realities. You see, their dreams would create their realities. She placed flowers and luscious plants around the classroom, and played soft affirmations throughout the day, she talked about feelings, and colors, and what they meant. She taught them to list the things they were grateful for and to appreciate Mother Earth as they connected their toes to the soil. She helped them to understand the complexities of negatives, positives, and balance. All of these things were to fertilize the soil of their subconscious and to enrich the roots of the trees that she hoped would bear healthy fruit in their conscious minds.

She had one little one that never seemed to need to sleep so she didn’t force her. She provided that little old soul with loner tendencies new tasks to complete during nap-time. Sometimes the little girl helped to get the snacks ready or she read books. Sometimes the teacher asked her to draw pictures of what her life looked like in vast detail and some times she simply sat in silence swirling in the present. She wanted the little girl to understand that though her classmates were not awake she was not alone and that she could still begin to actualize her dreams in that silence. She could learn, grow, and create in that silence. That was a blessing.

Each day the children would begin to stir around the 33rd minute of the hour.
Two or three would wake up early stretching it out and moving back to their seats, chitter chattering along the way connecting simply because they had woken up first. On occasion she had to check their little attitudes because they seemed to think that it was a race, that because they were first to wake up that somehow they were more special. They had not realized that her little helper, her little old soul had been awake the whole time creating in the quiet. She thought it curious that her early risers tried to guide the old soul as if they knew it all. This made her laugh. One afternoon she held the old soul’s hand and looked deep in her wide eyes and reminded her to listen to her own voice. It had gotten strong in the silence. She could trust that voice. She could use that same voice to tell those little egos to mind their own destiny. After a while the early risers stopped with this conscious competition. They learned that it caused them to miss out on knowledge and blocked their blessings and actually slowed them down. They took on a new role.

The early risers learned to love on and help the sleeping dreamers who woke up crying. Sometimes waking up is scary and you need some soothing. She had some little ones that would wake up ready to run outside and play. Lets go! they would shout. There were others that would wake up and just lay there processing. They would rise and take their places. She had some that would wake up and fall back asleep and wake up and fall back asleep. She knew that she would have to assist them in breaking this pattern. The time for dreaming is over. Be fearless and get up. There are beautiful things waiting, but they can’t wait forever she said firmly but loving as she gently shook their shoulders. It was time to start tuning in. It was time to start living in the present moment.
Nap time was special. The sleeping dreamers would become the reality creators. The teacher thanked God every day that she could be there in sunshine filled rooms filled with art to teach the children to dream to believe to actualize. Because one day the sleeping dreamers would elevate the whole world.
God bless the sleeping dreamers and the reality creators.

 

Spirit of Teena

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Laying in the bed listening to Teena Marie
Wondering if he is the man for me
How many ways can love set me free?
Girl- you already free said Teena Marie
Free to be you
Focus on what you gotta do
It ain’t him
Don’t be out here on a limb
Free yo’ self
Step up off that shelf
Manifest some wealth
Increase yo’ health
Do you hear me?
You are magic
Yo’ shit ain’t tragic
Beautiful girl
This is yo’ world
Don’t you cry or even sigh
Get up!
We are on yo’ side
Girl- you are already free laughed Teena Marie

photo via – Pinterest

Love Lives

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Love never dies

Our love lives infinitely

Gone of the body they maybe

But our love- your love – my love- lives infinitely

Love never dies

Infinitely living love

The reincarnation of love

Swim in it

Love never dies- It is simply reincarnated