Silence & Chatter

heart silence is louder then mind chatter

balance found between sight and sound

between light and profound

between words of wisdom and works of wisdom

heart silences the chattering mouth of mind

now body sleeps

as spirit creeps

into every

auricle and ventricle

cell and seam

free wheeling healing and making space for clarity’s gifts

heart silence is louder then mind chatter

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Invasion of Privacy/ Ain’t no Shame

Image via Oprah.com

There is nothing more horrifiying, frustrating, and anxiety inducing than having your privacy violated.

In my 333 years on Earth I have been recorded without permission, stalked, had my emails hacked, and, I square to Bob, had a drone flying in my backyard.

Now the drone thing was around the holiday and could have been some man child playing with a new electronic.

I have never ever been a fan of email or social media.

Shit, to keep it 5000 I have never been a fan of computers.

The virtual mask is an especially wily one. People create stories about you and themselves and then act from this cloudy space in the real world.

Janky.

About 4-5 years ago I linked up with someone my people ALWAYS told me NOT to speak to or deal with since I was a teenager.

There is nothing like a flock of older Jamaicans who don’t like somebody.

Laughs

Shout out to y’all-I was hard headed- I am sorry.

Listen to the wise older individuals you trust in your life. They know.

Dealing with this individual cost me about $2k and who knows how much emotionally and mentally. It was the beginning of a spiral of bad vibes.

I was embarrassed, ashamed, and hurt.

I didn’t want to tell anyone for a while about all that happened – but holding on to negative emotions, thoughts, and stories is a recipe for disaster.

Things got a lot worst before they got better.

They began to get better when I sought out healthy help.

Today, as I was going through my emails his full ass name popped up on some one travel thing to redeem points (?)- just seeing his name made me want to throw up – why he would even be utilizing my email address is beyond me.

Beyond.

All that shame resurfaced but not for long- because I have the tools now to deal.

I thank God for Brené Brown because I am now unafraid to face shame.

I caught my thoughts before they spiraled – I called and spoke to the right people and have a plan of action.

Shame is the illest silencer-

DO NOT LET SHAME SILENCE YOU.

SPEAK UP.

USE YOUR VOICE.

GET ASSISTANCE.

Don’t let anyone harass you quietly behind a screen or to your face.

God didn’t give any of us a spirit of fear and anybody trying to scare you is working for the other side of things.

You feel me?

We are protected and connected.

Writer’s Note: Sir(s) this is a public request to leave me alone. It is all peace here and we would like to keep it that way.

Rooting for revival

Sketch by Me

She sat silently resting in the forest of her heart.

We can remain stuck in fear & holding on to the past, or we can use our past experiences to move confidently into the future. – Tanaaz

These words echoed throughout the canyons of her mind as strong winds of change began to blow in and around her.

Two cardinals flew by with a message.

When the roots are deep, there is no need to fear the wind. – Unknown

She stood faithfully and fearlessly in the forest of her own heart as her body began moving forward in time with the divine.

And so it is.

Sonic symphony for forward motion: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/is-she-flying/pl.u-zPyLLJPFxA8RER

Used to be

we sit side by side crisscross applesauce at the back of the room

i used to be a romantic she says as the smoke curls around her head

dead hearted

hollow chested

echoing words

listening quietly i try not to swat at the smoke

understanding that this feeling that she is feeling just needs time and healing

i join her in her darkness with my tiny light

hold my hand i say

don’t start that goofy holistic shit says my dead hearted friend

this makes me laugh and she half smiles

hand still outstretched

she takes it

tears stream down her face as she ashes into the potted plants

holding hands we sit side by side crisscross applesauce at the back of the room

Love is / Love isn’t

I put my mental, physical, spiritual, and financial health first. Unapologetically.

I am honest about what I can and can not handle and I say no to carrying anyone’s burdens or stresses.

This does not make me weak.

When things seem overwhelming I take a moment to check in with God and myself reaching out to my support system if I need to.

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I release guilt for not always handling things “perfectly”.

I surround myself with unconditional genuine love and I thank God for it.

I have all that need.

Thank you.