3:33 am listening to Aquemini

(if you can: read, hit the link, listen, read some more and repeat)

I am not the cause of anyone’s unhappiness only my own.

What a relief. Kind of.

I stare into the eyes of my unhappiness the unhappiness I am experiencing and put my hand on my heart space.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/synthesizer/266365274?i=266365443

”The fuck is this?” I think offended by my own thoughts.

My ego, *big sigh, taking offense, finding fault and being reactive per usual.

I have fought a lot of egos, to include my own, repeatedly, but nobody ever wins.

Nobody.

And I don’t have any fight left in me.

*Laughs

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/aquemini/266365274?i=266365360

My heart reminds me to offer myself some compassion and my spirit rings with the teachings of Tolle and Ruth.

The activated vibration of the love God created me with is shaking loose more and more of what no longer serves me…

It is uncomfortable though…

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/hold-on-be-strong/266365274?i=266365277

*Hold on be strong

Hold on be strong

Hold on be strong

Hold on be strong

(Aquemini ‘till I die *puts fist up)

I know this suffering is leading me somewhere…

Let’s go I tell my self and the ego.

Hand in hand we stand up and face the roaring negativity within me exposing it to the light of awareness.

It burns.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/da-art-of-storytellin-pt-2/266365274?i=266365473

I close my eyes and feel the unhappiness, the pain, the fear, the anger, the anxiety…

Lean in.

Go through it.

Grow through it.

Aquemini continues to play as my emotions burn away.

*Damn, Damn, Damn, James.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/spottieottiedopaliscious/266365274?i=266365523

Observe the thoughts.

Observe the feelings.

Just keep breathing.

No reaction.

18 years of sadness, that’s a long ass time.

Umpteen years of fear, that’s a long ass time.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/yall-scared/266365274?i=266365536

No more years of tears, fears, or sadness.

It doesn’t matter how it started, who created it or where it came from, in this present moment I detach from it.

All of it.

”Depart from me!” I yell dramatically with a smile.

I believe the sadness is lifting and my consciousness is shifting.

I am my own Harriet T. getting my mind free.

Lifting and shifting in the darkness of night led by the light.

I make a vow to love me truly, especially at 3:33 when self-created demons scratch at my soul and try to tell me that I am not whole.

Lifting and shifting to freedom- I am.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/liberation/266365274?i=266365542

I love you woman that I’m still getting to know- till death do us part -even when you fart.

Laughs -hard

I am the effect of my own awareness.

*Shake that load off, Shake that load off

Shake that load off, Shake that load off

Shake that load off, Shake that load off

Writer’s Note: Thank you: André Benjamin, Antwan Patton, Erica Wright, George Clinton, David Sheats, Y Pickens, Cameron Gipp, Willie Knighton Jr., Erin Johnson, Masada Hogans, Robert T. Barnett, Joi Gilliam, Myrna Crenshaw, Ruben Bailey, CeeLo Green, Frederick Bell, Jamahr Williams, Patrick Brown, Organized Noize, and Thomas Burton. Thank you for creating. Your words, melodies, and voices kept the lights on in my heart as I realized and removed the dark that almost snuffed out my spark. Angels y’all are- fly as fuck.

Thank you too, for listening to the me that is I, she, and we.

* = Lyrics by OutKast

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