Find Forever

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I found forever in the forest

Still I sat as winged creatures whizzed by leaving behind vibrations in the small bones of my ears

Still I sat as the leaves on trees swayed to the wind’s beat

Still I sat as the ants worked on in summer’s heat

Still I sat

And in the stillness forever appeared

Beautiful Distractions

I am ever so slightly distracted today

Can I just lay in the cocoon of comfy that is my bed?

Dreams of  romance make me giggle as I pluck them out of  my priority list and release them to the future

I have papers to write, affirmations to say, prayers to pray… and squats to put off until tomorrow

Laughs

I am ever so slightly distracted today

The present moment feels so good I just want to create something in celebration of it

So I step out of my cocoon of comfy intending to make something of this day

Yet I am still ever so slightly distracted today

My responsibilities seem close and far away – suspended in time by procrastination

Is it okay that I procrastinate?

Because O my have you seen the sky and how the clouds creep by in the most delicious dance

Mother’s sun warmed earth wrap my feet in beams of light melting all my worries away

Today am I really distracted?

Yeah

But I will make space for these distractions -these beautiful distractions

Inside

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Inside my mind

I rewind time

Rereading and over analyzing the messages between each line

I am restless and reactive

Tied down by time

Time- as man has constructed it

Time- as man has constricted it

Wrapped and bound by minutes, seconds, hours and days

Living in the present as if I am in the past or somewhere in the future

Forgetting that time freed from the constraints of clocks and calendars is timeless

Timeless

Inside my mind

I am suppressing my feelings of oppression

Oppressed by my own repression of my personal truth

Inside my consciousness

I watch my mind dart back and forth, attempting to control the uncontrollable

Attempting to explain the unexplainable and attain the unattainable

I am aware of this moment and what it feels like

I am aware that it is all out of my control

This is beautiful because to step out of control is to step into flow

Inside of my consciousness

I invite my mind to relax

To stop rewinding time or fast forwarding to the future

To relinquish control to universal flow

To dwell in the present moment

My mind excepts my invitations

And together we dance in the happiness of present moment awareness on the grounding green grasses of gratitude as the sunbeams warm awareness full of light to even our darkest places

Inside my consciousness

My mind is free
Art info:

J. Henry Marley

Cattle Brand (1935)

watercolor on paper

via: Smithsonian online library

Little brown ego

I’ve been thinking a lot about my ego and the way it shows up and informs my thoughts and behaviors.

This facial expression belongs to my ego. lol
This facial expression belongs to my ego. lol

My first thought was how to get rid of it. But, after doing some reading about what the ego is, I came to an understanding of my ego and its purpose.  I realized that vanquishing my ego isn’t really necessary.   Coming to this understanding made me want to love on my ego. So often the best response is: just show love.

I imagine that my ego is an angry scared little brown girl that looks just like me. She is trying to navigate a reality that is constantly telling her who she is, what she should do, who she should be with, and where she should be. Being bombarded with all those directives can be frustrating and confusing. She is attempting to perceive this world from place of anger and fear. Damn.  So, I wrote her a letter.

Dear Little brown ego,

I love you. Our higher self is here. God is here. We are in the present moment. We are grateful. You can do whatever you want. You do not have to stick to the same old patterns. You are not bound by tradition or the advice of people who don’t know you or the truth within your spirit. I love you ego. Thank you for reminding me of who I am not. Thank you for pushing me to be present.

Love, Me

I have let go of my expectations of my ego. I simply guide her sometimes angry ass to more peaceful patterns.  Often times I just get really silent and turn my energy off; anger and fear need energy to persist.  I imagine myself hugging her until the hurt, lies, negative perception, and fear melt and then I step back and just let her be.

 We are free Little brown ego.  We are free.

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Photos courtesy of : DC Moody

Good Read on the ego:             http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/happiness/2013/02/26/what-is-the-ego/