3:33 am listening to Aquemini

(if you can: read, hit the link, listen, read some more and repeat)

I am not the cause of anyone’s unhappiness only my own.

What a relief. Kind of.

I stare into the eyes of my unhappiness the unhappiness I am experiencing and put my hand on my heart space.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/synthesizer/266365274?i=266365443

”The fuck is this?” I think offended by my own thoughts.

My ego, *big sigh, taking offense, finding fault and being reactive per usual.

I have fought a lot of egos, to include my own, repeatedly, but nobody ever wins.

Nobody.

And I don’t have any fight left in me.

*Laughs

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/aquemini/266365274?i=266365360

My heart reminds me to offer myself some compassion and my spirit rings with the teachings of Tolle and Ruth.

The activated vibration of the love God created me with is shaking loose more and more of what no longer serves me…

It is uncomfortable though…

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/hold-on-be-strong/266365274?i=266365277

*Hold on be strong

Hold on be strong

Hold on be strong

Hold on be strong

(Aquemini ‘till I die *puts fist up)

I know this suffering is leading me somewhere…

Let’s go I tell my self and the ego.

Hand in hand we stand up and face the roaring negativity within me exposing it to the light of awareness.

It burns.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/da-art-of-storytellin-pt-2/266365274?i=266365473

I close my eyes and feel the unhappiness, the pain, the fear, the anger, the anxiety…

Lean in.

Go through it.

Grow through it.

Aquemini continues to play as my emotions burn away.

*Damn, Damn, Damn, James.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/spottieottiedopaliscious/266365274?i=266365523

Observe the thoughts.

Observe the feelings.

Just keep breathing.

No reaction.

18 years of sadness, that’s a long ass time.

Umpteen years of fear, that’s a long ass time.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/yall-scared/266365274?i=266365536

No more years of tears, fears, or sadness.

It doesn’t matter how it started, who created it or where it came from, in this present moment I detach from it.

All of it.

”Depart from me!” I yell dramatically with a smile.

I believe the sadness is lifting and my consciousness is shifting.

I am my own Harriet T. getting my mind free.

Lifting and shifting in the darkness of night led by the light.

I make a vow to love me truly, especially at 3:33 when self-created demons scratch at my soul and try to tell me that I am not whole.

Lifting and shifting to freedom- I am.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/liberation/266365274?i=266365542

I love you woman that I’m still getting to know- till death do us part -even when you fart.

Laughs -hard

I am the effect of my own awareness.

*Shake that load off, Shake that load off

Shake that load off, Shake that load off

Shake that load off, Shake that load off

Writer’s Note: Thank you: André Benjamin, Antwan Patton, Erica Wright, George Clinton, David Sheats, Y Pickens, Cameron Gipp, Willie Knighton Jr., Erin Johnson, Masada Hogans, Robert T. Barnett, Joi Gilliam, Myrna Crenshaw, Ruben Bailey, CeeLo Green, Frederick Bell, Jamahr Williams, Patrick Brown, Organized Noize, and Thomas Burton. Thank you for creating. Your words, melodies, and voices kept the lights on in my heart as I realized and removed the dark that almost snuffed out my spark. Angels y’all are- fly as fuck.

Thank you too, for listening to the me that is I, she, and we.

* = Lyrics by OutKast

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Storms bring clarity

I know a woman who walked through one of the strongest storms ever to cross the Atlantic Ocean

I know this woman

I wonder if she knows herself

I hope she is reading this

My dude, you walked through a literal storm and survived

You survived

You are alive

You survived

Time to thrive

Time to strive

But for what you want

What YOU really really want *Mel B voice

Can’t fear death

It is imminent bae

Can’t fear life

Go out and play

Cherish the day

Play more Sade

Choose more beautiful words to say

Laughs

My dude, you walked through a literal storm and survived

God clearly rocks with you

Run with that

I know a woman who walked through one of the strongest storms ever to cross the Atlantic Ocean

I know this woman

I wonder if she knows herself

I hope she read this


When I was older…

You ask so many questions but you’ve already learned the lessons

Listen, lover don’t hover over that fear

Let it get clear

Then let that clarity steer you in the right direction

You are but a reflection of the creator that created you

Here to do what has already been put inside of you

You ask so many questions but you’ve already learned the lessons

Now it’s up to you to catch the blessings

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0I4fD49Gbck